Inanna Returns: Chapter XVII Descent
I went to my friends, Matali and Tara, and told them that I desired to return to the Old Serpent Woman. Tara led me to her caverns. The Old Serpent Woman did not seem surprised to see me, and though she spoke no words, I understood that I must go alone on a journey.
The wise lady led me down a long dark tunnel, and at its end I saw a transparent oval, like a womb surrounded by a translucent shell of soft flowing light. I stepped inside and sat down for what seemed like an eternity. Nothing happened. I began to perform austerities, disciplines to raise my frequencies through focus. I breathed. I created tapas, divine heat. I fasted. I stood motionless on one toe for 2,000 years. I prostrated myself. I wept. My soul poured itself out into that oval as silence pressed itself in on me.
Yet nothing happened. I looked at my life as Inanna. Everything I had ever been or done moved across the Eye of my Mind. The longing for truth and understanding overwhelmed my very being, and my lovely body heaved and shook in sobbing and despair. At last, I gave up despair and lost myself in the heat of fire, as I sacrificed my pride and no longer knew who I was. The ‘I’ of Inanna faded away.
As all identity fell from my being like the tears from my eyes, a light began to form in front of me. Slowly, this light became the most exquisitely beautiful being I have ever seen. It was neither man nor woman, but its form was human. It was made up of myriads of tiny lights, cascading shooting, moving constantly in ever-changing subtle colors. The face was a face of a thousand beings, and it radiated all I could hope to be: love, grace, wisdom, and qualities that have no words to describe them.
“What is your name?” I asked. Answering me, the Being spoke thus: “I have many names from a multitude of experiences and states of being, but my true spirit wherein my soul resides is only a light frequency, not a name. I am that which cannot be named. If you seek to name me, say I am Altair from Alcyone, Star from Star. I am that which you have always been.
“Your longing for truth has brought me here. These are the moments of your awakening. Treasure them. Your unfoldment is taking place now within this timescape. You are a response system. I interface with you. I have been aligning your circuitry for better reception. Attune to me.
“Remember, beloved. Remember your true Home. When Time began for you, you were a pure white light. Now you have many colors, many nuances, many experiences. You float through a Sea of Timelessness, pulsating Beauty. I love you greatly.”
I felt my body being caressed by a warm soft gentle breeze. The immense Love from this being wrapped itself around me, healing me and drying my tears. I felt lighter and waves of sheer joy ran through me.
The Being spoke again:
“I love you, Inanna.
I rejoiced at your accomplishments, at your courage.
I wept when you wept.
I sought wisdom in your beauty.
I held you in your darkest hours.
I was never separate from you.
I allowed you to move in the ways you chose in order to bring me experience.
Would any being do less for its child, its creation?
In the sweetness of our coming together, I open myself to you.
I hasten to you to fill myself in you and of you.
You are my creation and I have longed for your Return.
Not demanding, you turn to me,
Gently, as the flowers following the sun.
Your being creates a space for me to fill.
Oh, My Beloved!
United we are!
From all the pathways and trails,
Through the long and lonely corridors of Time,
As the streams of the Earth,
As the blood flowing in your veins,
We meet in the Heart.
There to burn in the Fires of Our Becoming.”
It was so! I was on fire! My entire being was burning with Love and I experienced an ecstasy I had never before imagined. In silence, the Being conveyed to my mind an understanding. Love welled up inside me with an indescribable force of passion. In my heart I knew what I would do. The heat of fire forever changed me.
I saw my future. I would descend into human form, become human, and attempt to activate the divine gene in my selves. I would separate myself in varying portions and take many incarnations. I would dare to make myself vulnerable and be born into human flesh. I chose a wide variety of experiences through particular bloodlines. Even though I would descend into Earth time, I knew this Being of Light would always be with me, and I would never be truly alone again.
I became many. I experienced life as a man and as a woman. I walked the same roads humans have walked. I felt what they have felt, the same hope and despair. I held a child in my arms; I was a child with no mother. I slaughtered many men and loved many. I wondered bitterly, what did it matter? What did anything matter?
Praying for help, I sat on the cold ground and gazed longingly up at the stars. I tried to Remember.