My Kundalini Rising
In sincere humility and deepest gratitude, I write to you that on March 25, 2016 the God-within me, by the power of Divine Grace gave me the most intense spiritual experience of my 70 years of life here in this ‘Susan’ body. The only person I knew that I felt I could confide in was my dear friend in Spirit, Brendan Ring, who wrote the book ‘A Shamanic Kundalini Awakening’ and is a visionary experiencer par excellence. I sent Brendan an email telling him that I felt “I had made love with the universe” and he confirmed that what I had experienced was a Kundalini rising awakening:
Brendan Ring: “I LOVE this, how wonderful to receive such Grace, what a blessing! There are a lot of people talking spiritual psychology about embracing your darkness etc., but when it comes down to it God expresses to us as Love, Light and Energy. This is kundalini, massive spiritual sexual energy going from root to crown. You felt Shiva, but you were Shakti, this was a divine union. Shiva and Shakti are one.”
I was conflicted about sharing this experience. On the one hand, the fact that this happened to me at age 70 after so many years, might encourage others and let them know what is possible. On the other, there is a tradition of secrecy regarding personal experiences. Brendan encouraged me thus:
Brendan Ring: “Honestly I think that sharing the experiences is very important. The ancient seers obviously felt this too as they wrote their experiences down. I don’t think in anyway that the divine love and grace that you received could possibly be diminished by telling others. There is a problem today in that superstar gurus are giving people false expectations of enlightenment, when truly what you have received (and I hope I may do too) is the result of intense bhakti and spiritual discipline over many years. Personally I say rejoice and share. Your enlightenment is giving me great joy.”
MY Kundalini Experience
This was the most INTENSE INCREDIBLE experience I have ever had.
It was not in any way physical.
It was miles more better and intense, and NO comparison with physical anything.
And it went on and on.
At first it was as if the Light of the Universe, the substratum beneath and beyond all five sense perception, was entering me up through my Yoni (Sanskrit), my female sex-energy chakra.
Universal Light was entering me, filling me.
But not limited to that area, spreading all over my body,
moving all the way up to my Crown Chakra (above the head),
where it exploded, blasting all the other chakas as it went up.
I was continually trembling, shaking, quietly moaning…
Resonating with the Divine Pulsation (Spanda in Sanskrit).
This happened at least five times.
Maybe more. I lost count.
I have no idea of the time involved.
I kept thinking…more?
It would subside and begin again.
Even now just remembering, there are flickering resonances.
My hands were hot, but I had no body.
I was physically trembling, but primarily CELLULARLY.
All the cells in my body were pulsating, vibrating, glittering, shining.
It was as if the most powerful male energy, my equal and beyond,
was making love to me, driving up into me the Divine Power, the Power of the Sacred Chi, overwhelming me,
like a glowing column of Lightning, intense pure Light, Love…
in the most beautiful way to complete me, open me, clean me.
Violently, tenderly overpowering me into sweet Surrender.
The ultimate Purification of my Being.
I am still smiling.
I’m 70 years old and this happened to me!
I asked the God-within me why wait so long?
It seems that I needed to be very pure to have this kind of experience.
Tantra (Sanskrit for a weaving together) is filled with peril.
If I pushed it into a lower frequency, it could attract very negative entities
that could destroy me.
Now it seems I am beyond that. I know better than to abuse this.
God is Love.
But God’s Love is the immutable imperishable immeasurable eternal FORCE that generates the Universe.
Exploding stars, spiraling galaxies, creation and catastrophe.
A neutron bomb kind of Love.
More wisdom from Brendan Ring:
There are actually two kinds of enlightenment/self realization. There are those that have realised the God within as the witnessing consciousness, they perceive this as a great stillness a nothingness, they describe themselves as empty. Neo vedantists like Mooji are good examples of this. However this is an incomplete process, they do not acknowledge Shakti as the mediator. The other kind of enlightenment is with the love and bliss experienced with Shakti (what has happened to you), here, there is still the witnessing consciousness (Shiva), but it is not empty, it is in blissful loving activity. Through this Tantra, the world is not experienced as an illusion in the way vedantists would have it, divinity is now seen in everything, no difference between inner and outer worlds. The equation for this is, stillness (Shiva) in activity (Shakti) enlightenment.
There is also a practical side to the kundalini process. We have a causal body (essentially the thought of God), this creates our energy body. Shakti descends down through this creating the physical body and rests at the root chakra. This can be seen as the ‘fall’. Our karma is stored in the energy body, when Shakti awakens the fall is reversed and what usually happens at death happens during life. Her ascent and union with Shiva cleans out the chakras and nadis (as you felt), this is an ongoing process as there are 72000 nadis. But what it essentially means is that you no longer have any karma. Your past karma accumulated in the energy body is being eradicated, you won’t accrue future karma because you see and act in the world from a different place, all that is left is the karma of this lifetime to work through. And all that means that you are going Home! Exciting!
“The inner-conjunction is the most intense kundalini experience when it feels like thousands of volts are tearing through one’s system. There are many ecstatic experiences during a kundalini awakening, but the shooting up the spine and its associated ‘Silver Cord’ or ‘Sex with Eros’ is the most extreme experience one can endure energetically. I haven’t found a name for it in Western literature and no corresponding Eastern name so I call it the inner-conjunction.
“I liken it to 10,000 orgasms pouring through every cell of one’s body and gushing out the top of the crown, threatening to explode one’s head. I say that it is 10,000 orgs up the spine to convey its huge quantum jump from the normal experience of our body. Thus in this book you will see me refer to the charge of the Inner-conjunction as 10,000 orgs. But if someone did actually have the equivalent of 10,000 orgasms all at once it would kill them instantly. The degree of ecstasy is unexpressible, other than to say that every cell in the body is lit up with God…with bliss in the extreme.”
The Kashmir Shaivite Swami Lakshmanjoo gave me the experience of ‘Knowing’ beyond words that I am the eternal ubiquitous imperishable immutable One God-Consciousness through his enlightened power, even though he had already departed this world. He teaches that we will all go Home through the Shakti power energy, in other words, through the goddess Shakti Power that manifests the Universe for the One. This Shakti has many names, MAYA, Matrika, YONI, the Matrix which actually means the Womb that produces all and gives birth to the appearance of solidity through five-sense perception. When you realize that God is everywhere in everything, then every point becomes an Entry Point, an opportunity to intensely focus your being into that point and arrive Home!
May you find your Way Home! We Meet in the Heart!